Friday, April 29, 2011

18 Things that Every Sex Worker Should Know

This is from Mistress Matisse’s May 18th Stranger column…there’s a lot that’s valuable here for both the new and seasoned escort.

1. Yes, there are ready-made jobs in sex work, like massage studios and escort services, where all you have to do is show up. But the people who run them take a cut of your money, so you wind up paying just as much for convenience as you would to have your own business, and you sacrifice some control.

2. Greed and not thinking clearly is how most women get into trouble. Don’t work stoned or drunk, and don’t get so hungry for money that you ignore warning signals.

3. Not many people do sex work for a short while and then quit. It is very hard to give up the money and the free time.

4. Most clients are just regular guys like you’d meet anywhere. You probably aren’t going to get a call from Charlie Sheen, but you’re also statistically unlikely to meet the next Green River Killer.

5. You will not get a pension, and if you don’t pay your taxes, you won’t even be eligible for social security. You are going to get old, so either provide for yourself or plan on having a shopping cart as your retirement home.

6. Don’t trash other girls to your clients. Those tactics were unbecoming even in junior high school and they’re contemptible now.

7. If your doctor or your dentist or your cleaning lady or your auto mechanic gives you any shit about how you earned the cash you’re paying them, take your oh-so-dirty money somewhere else.

8. If either a potential client or an employer offers you a deal that sounds too good to be true, assume that it is, and ask yourself why he might be lying and what you’ll do if he is. If you’re okay with all possible outcomes, then try it, but if any of them are unacceptable, walk away.

9. You’re likely to be making more money than your lover or your friends, so it’s nice to buy dinner or a round of drinks sometimes. But if you spent more on your Fendi sunglasses than your best friend spends on her rent, keep quiet about it.

10. It’s less work to keep a good regular client happy and calling back than to short them on service and have to keep attracting and processing new guys.

11. Pissing off the neighbors or landlord of your workspace always leads to trouble. Pay the rent on time and strive to be as pleasantly invisible (and inaudible) as you can.

12. E-mail is a boon to unhappy losers who bolster their egos by sending snarky anonymous notes. Amusingly, they often make their place on the evolutionary scale quite clear in doing so. “Yuor a whoore and yu’ll birn in hell for all eternitee!” However tempting it is to deliver an electronic riposte, such people are unworthy of your attention. Don’t respond, just delete.

13. On the subject of photographs: It is accepted practice to remove a few lines or a few pounds through the magic of photo editing. But those fuzzy, extreme-angle photos on your website are unworthy of you. If you’re a voluptuous woman, or a mature woman, show it clearly, and get clients who want that. It’s better for your self-esteem than having guys show up and be obviously disappointed.

14. Clients often prefer someone who is warm and friendly to a chilly bitch who can get that extra inch down her throat.

15. You’re likely to get stiffed for a fee at some point during your career. Vent, be pissed about it for an hour, and then let it go. Don’t seethe about it for days, and don’t take it out on your good clients.

16. Yes, buying your own health insurance is expensive. But unless you’re disciplined enough to put money away every month in case you get sick, you better get it.

17. If a client offends you so deeply that you have to fire him, do not take him back, no matter how much money he offers you. The fantasy is unrecoverable.

18. It’s possible to sustain a long-term lie to friends or family about your job, provided they aren’t too inquisitive. But try to have at least one friend in whom you can confide all the charming, the annoying, and the absurd encounters that you will definitely have.

How To Respect Sex Workers

 

Most women have strong feelings about the sex industry, be they for or against. (And many, of course, remain undecided.) When dealing with such an emotionally volatile topic, it’s easy to inadvertently silence or even insult sex workers themselves. (As a participant in sex worker activism for the past four years, I’ve seen that in action and on the page.) There’s a way to debate commercial sex while respecting the industry’s laborers. Here are some suggestions:

1) Don’t diminish or mock sex workers’ agency. When discussing a person coerced or forced into sex work, a sensitive recognition of the violation they’ve suffered is definitely in order. However, it’s important to let individuals themselves make this distinction, rather than automatically assigning them a label that indicates lack of agency. For instance, referring to all sex workers as “prostituted” or “used” can be violating in and of itself if the person identifies their work as a free choice.

Similarly, language implying that sex workers are defiled or disgusting will quickly alienate them—for instance, calling porn an “institution that systematically uses the bodies of subordinate groups as sheer sexual objects at best, and open toilets at worst,” as this Ms. blog comment does. Even abused workers don’t want the public analogizing them to waste receptacles.

There’s a way to recognize the indignities wrought upon another human being without furthering those indignities. For example, insisting that every paid act of sex is rape, regardless of how the person being paid labels it, implies that her failure to label it rape is a personal failure. No sex worker deserves to be demonized for asserting the nature of her own experiences.

2) Don’t assume your problems with the sex industry are the industry’s only problems. Some of the most time-honored criticisms of the sex industry—it solidifies patriarchy or commodifies female sexuality—are significant considerations. But they may not be top concerns among sex workers themselves, who are usually more interested in avoiding harassment or abuse at the hands of law enforcement, finding the safest possible workplace and earning a livelihood. As sex worker and artist Sadie Lune has said, “Stop punishing me just because you may not be able to imagine being me.”

3) Use language with care. Some escorts might refer to themselves as “whores” or call their friends “hookers,” but sex workers don’t trust someone outside the industry employs those words. “Sex worker” was conceived as a judgment-neutral term and is usually a safe bet if you’re unsure of what phrase would be most respectful. Some anti-industry pundits object to it on the grounds that it “legitimizes” prostitution, stripping or performing in porn. But it’s important not to use your complaints about the industry as personal attacks on everyone within it. The workers in question are “legitimate” human beings, and any framework that doesn’t recognize that needs reconfiguring.

4) Educate yourself. If you’re going to be vocal about a matter that affects countless people around the globe, inform yourself about it. Visit the websites and blogs of sex workers, activists and allies, not just here in the U.S. but abroad as well. (Sex-workers movements are active in IndiaArgentinaTaiwan and Sweden, to name only a few. Some resources are linked below.) Take into account the direct voices of sex workers and not just of theorists or politicians. If you see a statistic cited, check the source and examine the ways in which data was gathered. Be critical and compassionate in equal measures. Even if you take issue with the type of work they do, you’ll be sure not to trample on a sex worker’s dignity in the process.

Resources:

How to Be an Ally to Sex Workers
Asia Pacific Network of Sex Workers
International Union of Sex Workers
SANGRAM
ISWFACE
Bound, Not Gagged

source: http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/09/02/how-to-respect-sex-workers/

Should Prostitution Be Legalized? Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5220073

Mauritius-prostitute-in-france

Should prostitution be legalized? In the USA, prostitution is illegal everywhere except for ten counties in Nevada yet sex is on sale from coast to coast. Street prostitutes have a mortality rate forty times higher than the national average. Many individuals who engage in sex work do not survive the streets.

The mortality rate among street walkers has led some to call for legalization or decriminalization of prostitution in the USA. One of the main reasons is for the safety of the sex worker. If the industry goes down that path as it has in other countries, can the street prostitutes really take better care of themselves and would they have the help they need if something went wrong? In other words, would the regulation of the industry offer the necessary protection to the prostitutes or is it to simply legalize violence against the street-walker?

In Australia the states legalized prostitution in an attempt to curb the violence. In the European countries of Norway, Finland and Sweden it appears that the selling of sex is not illegal but it is the purchase of sex that is criminalized. The logic behind these laws is that these European governments want to stamp out sex tourism, street prostitution and human trafficking in an attempt to protect the most vulnerable.

Sex workers in the third world are often sold into prostitution as children. In countries like the USA, many are driven to it by sexual abuse. Authorities have estimated that up to seventy-five percent of street prostitutes are molested or victims of incest. Once on the street it is very difficult or impossible to escape. A street pimp solicits customers for a 'hoochie' in return for a share of their earnings but it is often the street pimps who inflict the most violence. Those selling sex are younger, more than likely victimized or coerced into the trade to have street pimps, be drug addicted and to have miserable lives.

Drugs are sometimes the only way that street prostitutes came cope with work on the streets. Authorities have also estimated that a whopping eighty percent of street walkers are addicted to crack cocaine, heroin, prescription drugs or alcohol. It is probably the only way that they can cope the fear and anxiety that comes with this line of work. What goes through their mind? Will the next trick turn violent if things do not do go right? What are the chances of being raped, beaten up, having bones broken, cut up, maimed or even murdered? While the high-end sex workers or 'escorts' work in relative safety, low-end prostitutes mainly pick up clients off the streets, sex takes place in a car or a back alley and an attack can come at any time and who knows what disease they may contract.

In the United States supporters of legalization are in the minority. They are up against the puritanical religious groups and it is these people who wield the big stick. Rather, the trend has been for greater criminalization with greater penalties against clients and workers. This means that prostitutes are under attack from the street pimps, clients and the law. No doubt there are those on the street who believe that their fate is sealed and written in stone. They probably have few friends or allies, they face discrimination because of the stigma attached to prostitution and the lure of the street is always there... despite the danger. However there is one organization that offers hope or even a way out.

Cyndee Clay is the Executive Director of 'HIPS' - 'Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive'. HIPS mission is to assist female, male, and trans-gender individuals engaging in sex work in Washington DC to lead healthy lives. The program is based on a harm reduction model, Harm Prevention and Support. Those involved with the program strive to address the impact that HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, discrimination, poverty, violence and drug use have on the lives of individuals engaging in sex work. By helping sex industry workers recognize the options that they have and the skills that they need, the organization's goal is to support and assist these people in overcoming the barriers to finding adequate employment and leaving the streets altogether.

This is an almighty challenge. Street prostitutes around the world face similar problems. Many are driven to sell sex against their will and they are rejected by society as a result. Organizations such as this one must be supported and those who participate, applauded.

Stephen lives in the south east corner of Queensland Australia. He enjoys fishing, playing music and learning new languages. He has been writing articles for nearly 3 years. You are welcome to visit one of his websites at Portable Buildings For Sale and School Buildings For Sale.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5220073

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Adult Industry Headlines

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CalExotics' Intimate Basics Line Appears in N.Y. Times Article

CalExotics' Intimate Basics Line Appears in N.Y. Times Article
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No, legal action against end-users is ineffective

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CHINO, Calif. — The New York Times published an article on April 21 titled Vibrators Carry the Conversation that showcases CalExotics’ Intimate Basics collection.

"Dr. Laura Berman has been an integral part of the CalExotics success story," CalExotics President and Founder Susan Colvin said. "When the doctor and our team met in the early stages of designing a line of intimate toys around her personal philosophy of trust, intimacy and fun we knew we had a perfect fit for what singles and couples were looking for. Now consumers are reacting — and the New York Times is reporting!"

Dr. Laura Berman worked with California Exotic Novelties to create a full line of pleasure products, some of which have been seen in movies (vibrating panties in "The Ugly Truth" starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler), and on a recent episode of "Private Practice" on ABC.

According to CalExotics, the biggest success was when Dr. Berman was talking about sex toys on Oprah Winfrey’s talk show, and the Aphrodite infrared massager became a star overnight.

As featured in the NY Times article, the Aphrodite’s design features intense vibration and unique infrared heating technology in a single unit. Compatible with an array of attachments, it's a versatile companion for adult play.

"Dr. Berman's line of Intimate Basics really is moving off the shelves," CalExotics vice president of sales Jackie White said. "People are discovering Intimate Basics for the first time by watching Oprah — or on Dr. Berman's TV show — and it's causing some very determined shoppers for our retailers. They are calling, texting and emailing our retailers. 'More, more, more' isn't just a phrase your partner is hearing."

Kid Rock - Manwhore For Shore

Friday, April 22, 2011

National Conference for Media Reform Wraps in Boston

BOSTON -- Sunday marked the end of the 2011 National Conference for Media Reform in Boston -- an energetic and inspiring gathering that brought together more than 2,500 grassroots activists, policymakers, journalists and scholars from across the country, as well as thousands more online.

Participants explored more than 80 sessions on topics ranging from how to fix the Federal Communications Commission to Wikileaks, online organizing and disaster response to the new face of media consolidation, public and community media to feminism and immigration. Discussions spilled out into the hallways of the Seaport World Trade Center, generating new energy and ideas for the growing media reform movement.

Net Neutrality was one of the hottest topics of conversation after the House of Representatives passed a bill Friday attempting to rescind the FCC's Net Neutrality rules. On Friday at the conference, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi condemned the vote. "No one should be guarding the gate on the Internet," Pelosi said.

At the keynote session Saturday, U.S. Rep. Ed Markey delivered a powerful call to continue to fight for an open Internet. "In the Net Neutrality battle, when the FCC put forward its Open Internet Order, I wasn't happy," he said. "I wanted it to go further. ... But regardless of how we viewed the FCC's order, we all can agree the Internet needs to be an open, level playing field for everyone that can’t be controlled by a central authority, whether it's a corporation or a country's totalitarian regime."

Media reformers left Boston with a renewed commitment to aggressively advocating for policies to support better journalism, sustain public media, stop runaway media consolidation, and protect the free and open Internet.

"You can't try to appease the people who are trying to kill public and community media, people who want to kill independent journalism, the people who are trying to keep you disconnected and in the dark," said Craig Aaron, the new president of Free Press, which organized the conference. "If you want to win, you can't be afraid to go into the streets sometimes. But if you want to win, you also need to be at the table when decisions are being made. And that means we're going to need lobbyists, organizers, media makers and evangelists letting people know that the media system they have right now isn't the only option."

Challenging the corporate domination of politics and policymaking in Washington was also a recurrent theme at the event. "If we don’t take on the corporate political machine and refuse to be marginalized," said outgoing Free Press President Josh Silver in a farewell address, "our nation will be overrun with more poverty, more financial meltdowns, more environmental disasters, more sick people without access to health care; and a media system with less journalism, fewer independent voices and more corporate censors with names like AT&T and Comcast."

FCC Commissioner Michael Copps urged people to continue to fight for better media, calling it the "single most important thing" needed to preserve our democracy. "Citizen action can still work, even in this age when so few people wield so much outrageous power," he said. "Many other issues crowd in for our attention, but those other issues depend so heavily on how media treats them that their reform depends upon media's reform."

To view footage of the plenaries, panels and sessions please visit:http://conference.freepress.net.

###

Free Press is a national, nonpartisan organization working to reform the media. Free Press does not support or oppose any candidate for public office. Through education, organizing and advocacy, we promote diverse and independent media ownership, strong public media, and universal access to communications. Learn more atwww.freepress.net

Facebook's Inconsistent TOS and Enforcement Practices

There has been a growing number of reported number of sanctions and or deletions of people's content and or entire profile on Facebook leading many to wonder if Facebook is stepping up it's Terms Of Service (TOS) enforcement actions. Here's a clip of an article posted today on Huffington Post:

 

Facebook removed a photo of two men kissing from a user's Wall due to an apparent violation of the site's terms of service. Here's the message the original poster received from Facebook:

Hello,

Content that you shared on Facebook has been removed because it violated Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. Shares that contain nudity, or any kind of graphic or sexually suggestive content, are not permitted on Facebook.

This message serves as a warning. Additional violations may result in the termination of your account. Please read the Statement of Rights and Responsibilities carefully and refrain from posting abusive material in the future. Thanks in advance for your understanding and cooperation.

The Facebook Team

This act of censorship has received considerable attention (some worthwhile discussions here,herehere, and here). Certainly, it is within Facebook's right to try to control the type of content shared on its platform, and there are some social good to be gained through content filtering and censorship (i.e., you might want to censor child porn, or links to malware sites, etc).

But there are some fundamental concerns with this case, that point to a growing censorship problem within Facebook.

First, the message sent to the user indicated that "Shares that contain nudity, or any kind of graphic or sexually suggestive content, are not permitted on Facebook." However, if you review the site's much lauded Statement of Rights and Responsibilities, that particular language is not present. The Statement does include the directive "You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence" (3.7). Again, this is probably a reasonable restriction (although not completely without controversy). That said, no where in the Rights statement does it prohibit, or suggest a prohibition, on "sexually suggestive" content. It merely restricts pornography and nudity. Therefore, not only does Facebook misquote its own Statement of Rights and Responsibilities to the user when justifying the removal of content, it misapplies said Statement.

Elsewhere, in the site's Community Standards page (and I'm not sure how Facebook has resolved the attitudes and preferences of a "community" of 600 million users into a single shared set of standards), it notes that "We have a strict "no nudity or pornography" policy. Any content that is inappropriately sexual will be removed". Again, the photo includes neither nudity nor pornography. How it violates the community standards remains baffling.

Larry Flynt on Free Speech

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Larry Flynt has taped an interview on CNN's "Piers Morgan Tonight" that is scheduled to air tonight.

The LFP founder talks about his lifelong First Amendment crusade and more on the show, airing at 6 p.m. PDT and repeating at 9 p.m. and midnight.

"Freedom of speech is not freedom for the fellow you love," Flynt said. "It's freedom for the fellow you hate the most. And a democracy can't exist without free speech and the right to assemble. And that's what Americans tend to forget. And they're born into a culture where they take all of their freedoms for granted."

"When I first started out," Flynt said, "I used to buy into a former Supreme Court justice's argument that you can't scream fire in a crowded theater. Well, I think you can."

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Joan Irvine Resigns ASACP to Become Exec. Director of IFFOR

LOS ANGELES—AVN has learned that Joan Irvine, the longtime executive director of the Association of Sites Advocating Child Protection (ASACP), has resigned from the organization  and will take a position as executive director of the International Foundation for Online Responsibility (IFFOR), the policy making group for all .XXX domains.

Tim Henning, ASACP Vice President of Technology and Forensic Research, will become interim director.

More details about this development will follow.

Joanirvine

Facebook Slaps Facebook Of Sex With Suit

SAN FRANCISCOFacebook filed a lawsuit April 13 against Various, GMCI Internet Operations, Traffic Cat, Friendfinder Networks and 1-100 Does, alleging trademark infringement and dilution in the promotion of "an online 'adult' networking service and affiliate program under the brand FACE BOOK OF SEX."

The complaint further claims that the "Defendants’ mark, websites and affiliate program are a deliberate and blatant attempt to imitate and trade upon the success of the Facebook brand. Association with Defendants’ pornographic websites tarnishes Facebook’s reputation and abuses the trust of Facebook users. Accordingly, Facebook brings this suit to put a stop to Defendants’ unlawful scheme."

The Facebook complaint is 23 pages in length, but with all the exhibits added the size of the file submitted Wednesday runs 200 pages, much of it documentation proving multiple U.S. registrations for the Facebook mark, but also numerous screen grabs of Face Book of Sex web pages, with performer's faces pixilated, and also two blocks of emails between Facebook domain name manager Susan Kawaguchi and Various general counsel David Bloom that begin in October 2010 and end April 12, 2011, the day before the filing of the lawsuit.

The letters show a year long inability by the respective parties to coordinate upper level meetings to discuss concerns about trademark, but were really added by Facebook to illustrate that, as the complaint states, "Defendants have tried to use the purported 'FriendFinder' mark as leverage in negotiations, asserting that Facebook must address Defendants’ concerns before they will address Facebook’s trademark claims."

Indeed, from the beginning of the submitted email correspondence on trademark, apparently broached by Kawaguchi on Oct. 29, 2010, when she followed up on an earlier call addressing Facebook's concerns about FacebookOfSex.com and other domains, Bloom replied in an Nov. 8 email saying his side also wanted to discuss Facebook's use of the Friendfinder mark, and also the fact that Facebook had issues with Various domains, PenthouseBook.com, PenthouseBook.net and MyFaceOnPenthouse.com. As early as that first exchange, though, Bloom was unambiguous about Friendfinder's position regarding its right to use Face Book of Sex.

"As to the purpose of your phone call and email," he wrote, "we respectfully disagree that the uses you described infringe upon Facebook's trademark."

That position apparently remained unchanged through to April 12, the day of the final email submitted as evidence, in which Bloom refers to a planned conference call involving FriendFinder COO Anthony Previte and a Facebook executive.

"At this point we seem to have trouble scheduling a meeting," he wrote. "Rather than have Tony on this call, I request the following: please create a short agenda of all the issues that Richard wants to discuss. To that agenda we also want to discuss Facebook's historic and continuing use of 'Friend Finder'. Once you send me your proposed agenda, I will find the correct person to handle the call, and we can schedule a time."

The lawsuit was filed the following day. In it, Facebook attempts to also address its use of "friend finder," which it uses as "a tool on its website that allows users to find friends by searching their email contact lists." The company wants the court to "declare that Facebook is making descriptive fair use of the words 'friend finder,' or in the alternative, that Various’s 'FriendFinder' Registrations are subject to cancellation on the grounds that the terms registered therein are descriptive and have not acquired secondary meaning in the marketplace.

The Facebook complaint can be accessed here.

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CANOGA PARK, Calif. — The Free Speech Coalition says it is looking into legal options available for performers affected by the PornWikileaks.com site, which has exposed volumes of personal data information on thousands of performers.

“Free Speech Coalition stands in opposition to the violations of performer privacy by PornWikileaks,” FSC Executive Director Diane Duke said Friday. “This is not an issue of free speech; it is about violating the privacy of performers. It’s about potential extortion and exposing performers to potential harassment, stalking and other criminal activities.”

Duke said that it is unclear where the data displayed on PornWikileaks originated but federal authorities are probing breaches of federal law in the accumulation of data that has been exposed on the website. The investigation, she says, centers on the illegal access of medical databases.

Attorney Reed Lee, an FSC board member who is chair of the group's Government & Legal Committee, said PornWikileaks' postings have "an obvious chilling effect on performers and exposes them to known dangers that are extremely serious."  

“Would the website operators have published the NAACP's membership list in the most difficult days of the civil rights struggle?" he asked. "Everyone involved with PornWikileaks is playing a most dangerous game. They target the performers and they target free expression itself."

The FSC disclosed Friday that attorney Corey Silverstein is representing client Paul Armstrong in a possible action against individuals using the PornWikileaks website for illegal activity.

He is seeking performers who have had their personal information posted on PornWikileaks or have been threatened by those connected to the site. 

“While I cannot discuss the specific nature of my clients' allegations and any action that is being prepared, it is important to note that this is not a simple free speech issue,” Silverstein said. “The individuals running this website are allegedly intentionally and knowingly jeopardizing the safety and privacy of adult performers all over the world while purposely defaming them in the process. 

"The website repeatedly refers to adult performers as ‘pornographic whores’ and ‘hookers’ and even talks about specific adult performers ‘degrading the whole family.’ My clients cannot comprehend why the individuals running this website would want to intentionally cause so much potential harm.”

The FSC has asked those who have been affected by PornWikileaks and their attorneys to contact FSC at PWL@freespeechcoalition.com.

 

source: x-biz.com

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OTTAWA, Canada —Standard Innovation, manufacturer of the We-Vibe, has announced a charitable campaign to combat global warming this Earth Day, April 22.

The company will donate $5 to Carbonfund.org for every new person who follows @Ms_WeVibe on Twitter or likes the We-Vibe Facebook page between now and April 22 to report that eco-friendly sex is important to them.

“It's our way of offsetting the carbon generated from all that extra heavy breathing — and then some,” We-Vibe CEO Danny Osadca said. “We have always been a carbon-neutral provider of body-safe and eco-friendly products and this is an extra tip of our hat to Mother Nature.”

We-Vibe also announced it would give away free product to people whose ideas for “greening up the bedroom” are shared on the We-Vibe blog and chosen for the company’s next list.

 

Thursday, April 14, 2011